How to Start Living a More Authentic and Aligned Life
Living an authentic, aligned life is about being true to yourself, embracing your core personal values, and aligning your actions with your beliefs.
What does it mean to live authentically?
It can be all too easy to lose sight of who you truly are, bearing the weight of societal expectations and conditioning. But to be authentic, and therefore live authentically, is about knowing yourself and living in accordance with who you are.
This all starts with unearthing your unique values and finding clarity on the things that are truly important to you.
Using the Wheel of Life tool
Every so often I come across a coaching tool that I can’t get enough of. The Wheel of Life (sometimes called The Circle of Life) is a powerful tool that allows you to assess various aspects of your life and identify areas that need attention. The best part? It’s visual.
If like me you love putting pen to paper and seeing your life in ink - you’ll love this.
The circle is divided into twelve sections; each representing different areas of your life, such as your career, relationships, health, connection to spirituality, and more. By evaluating each section, you can gain insight into areas that are thriving and those that require nurturing. Living authentically involves finding balance in all areas of the wheel, ensuring that your actions align with your true self in every aspect of life.
Getting clear on your Northern Stars AKA your personal values
Your values are your guiding stars - they help guide you in the most authentic direction.
When you can understand, develop, and embody your values, they form a strong foundation for everything from the decisions you make, the boundaries you set, the opportunities you take, and the way you spend your time and energy.
To live authentically is to live in accordance with your values.
So what are values?
Your values are a set of words or statements that embody the things you hold most valuable. For example, some of mine include authenticity, sustainability, and self-awareness. These are things I hold dear and that I weave into my life and work.
To start figuring out your values ask yourself these questions:
What principles do you value in decision-making? For example: honesty, integrity, compassion. When you can connect to the core drivers in your decision making it will unearth some of your core values.
What areas of life do you advocate for? I shared that one of my values is sustainability, so spend some time and consider what yours might be.
When have you felt most aligned and authentic? Try to recall a time you felt like the truest version of yourself - how did that feel? What words come to mind?
What qualities do you admire most in others? Often, we mirror our values in other people. So the things you like about someone else, are probably the things you most like about yourself too.
It can sometimes feel a little overwhelming to pin-point the exact words that are so all-encompassing our our lives - You can find your values, so I’ve created a suggested list of words to get you started:
When you’re doing this exercise, bare in mind that ‘matchy does not mean goodie.’
When pinpointing your values the biggest challenge is that you don’t pick what you think society or other people want you to pick and setting yourself up for failure because you are not matching your values with your true self - you are living somebody else’s dream.
So always pick words and phrases that really mean something to you because when you are not the master of your dreams (as in, you’re living someone else’s dream), it can be very hard to find your bearings or know you are even achieving it (chasing Shangri-La /hamster wheel).
Every time we choose to walk in someone else’s path, we give up a little piece of ourselves which can lead to burnout or the feeling of being lost or stuck.
The ego can get quite sneaky, making you think it knows you so you might think you need “discipline”, but all you’re doing is actually mirroring** what someone else values as a protection mechanism - and when you connect to your North Stars, you may find that what works more for you is “flow”.
**mirroring: we do this so we fit in - think clan/ survival instincts
We can appease the ego, we use NLP tools to honour the “fear” of the ego and put the “dreamer” in you on the front line. Literally - reach for the stars OR “when you wish upon a star…”
“Create a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside.”
Diamond in the rough
Another good way to find your values is to think about what you don’t like.
Often who or what we don’t like is a great way to tell us what we do like. So scratching at the opposite of our values can reveal some long-lost values that perhaps are deep down in you and you just regarded them as the “ugly sisters” - when in fact they have LOTS to reveal and point us in the right way.
Going after what you want
Once you’ve figured out what you want, it’s time to go after it! I am a huge fan of Atomic Habits by James Clear. In his book, he talks about the power of instilling healthy habits and rituals as a way to ensure we reach our goals. He does this in a way that makes it achievable, accessible, and sustainable.
In your journey towards authentic living and embracing your true values, Health Coaching can offer guidance and accountability to help you reach your goals. You’ll learn to make conscious choices that honour your values and find ways to live more authentically across all the areas of your life.
As your coach my role is to empower you to gradually build new habits, start leading a healthier lifestyle aligned with your bio individuality, and help you feel more balanced on and off the plate.
